To every ranked game in Rocket League, there is always one never-changing truth: the losing side will come up with the wildest excuse. Top-ranked players get high on “copium” and turn into professional excuse-makers. From blaming their teammates to blaming the controller to blaming the hamster running over their keyboard, no excuse goes unheard of in Rocket League’s ranked shenanigans.

This list brings you the most common cop-outs from ranked. Absolutely bonkers arguments you might have experienced firsthand, or better yet, said yourself some time. So, from forgetting to plug in the controller to holding the ping responsible, here are the 10 best Rocket League excuses you hear in ranked.

10. Stop Ball Chasing

When these players lose, their way of going about the problem is making you believe you are the problem. They say you are constantly ball chasing. Normally, in a 3v3, this would be valid if your own teammates said this to you. But in a 1v1 when you win 3-1, and they say “stop ball chasing”, now that's crazy.

They gaslight you into believing you're wrong and that you shouldn't be scoring goals. Guilting you for actually being good at the game. That's crazy since there's literally no one else besides you to chase the ball. It's just as bad when you're in a 3v3, and you score a goal. But then your teammate, instead of appreciating you, accuses you of shot-stealing and dubs you a ball chaser.

Accusing others of being a ball chaser is one of the funniest excuses Rocket League players make in ranked. And you just know that these players will say anything other than admitting they are bad.

9. Bad Teammates Every Game

Of course, when nothing works out, there's always that one player who just blames their teammates for the loss. They play the blame game. Blaming one person for ball chasing, another for camping at the goal, and another for not passing to them. Taking any ounce of accountability is like kryptonite to them.

Usually, players who use this excuse are really toxic. However, there is one exception. If someone says they had bad teammates who didn't pass them the ball in a 1v1, then that's actually good humor.

8. I Haven't Played In 9 Months

You likely will have had a match where you beat a team 4-0, and then one of them said the infamous “I haven't played in 9 months” line. That is actually a genuine excuse. However, where you can’t help but die of laughter is when you notice that the player is literally rocking the Season 21 decal.

Another similar Rocket League ranked excuse is “it's my first day,” as they are legit wearing the Interstellar decal. Considering Rocket League's been out for a decade, there likely aren't that many multiplayer fans who haven't tried it. That said, saying you haven't played in a year is still a nice way to poke fun.

7. I'm Not Warmed Up

Some people jump right into ranked as soon as they open Rocket League. They whiff simple flicks and declare they weren't warmed up. Completely miss the kickoff by a mile. Not warmed up. They then get annihilated 4-0 and say time for a rematch. They then once again get annihilated 4-0 and say they weren't warmed up. Whether it's 10 minutes or 10 hours, these players are never able to warm up.

6. The Sun Was In My Eyes

What makes “The Sun was in my eyes” so iconic is that Rocket League matches take place in an enclosed arena. There are no weather conditions, no storms or rain, and, least of all, no dynamic lighting by the Sun.

Yet somehow, as soon as the losing team whiffs a shot, the Sun somehow magically appears and blinds them. The only possible way this excuse could make sense in Rocket League ranked is if that player has their gaming setup literally outside in the open.

5. My Hands Don't Work Like My Mind Wants

The best excuse is often the simplest excuse, and in this case, it's describing exactly why you aren't scoring. “My hands don't work like my mind wants” is the spot-on representation of why people end up whiffing shots. There's really no shame in saying this excuse in a ranked Rocket League game since it can happen to anyone. To the opponent, you, or a random person you're spectating.

You see the ball lining up and plan to do a crazy Breezi Flick goal to woo your teammates. You perfectly execute the Breezi, but never end up touching the ball. That's relatable and downright funny. And the cherry on top is that it's not an excuse, but rather the person who is saying this is self-aware and accepting of the fact that they sucked at that shot.

4. I'm Playing on a 9-Year-Old Laptop

You might be hearing this one for the first time, but it's hands down the best Rocket League excuse you can hear in ranked. According to one Reddit user, their go-to excuse for losing a game is, "Bro I'm playing at 1080p, at like 58fps, on a 9-year-old laptop, using my phone's 4G internet." The funny part is that their response for winning is also, "Bro I'm playing at 1080p, at like 58fps, on a 9-year-old laptop, using my phone's 4G internet.”

3. Forgot To Plug My Controller In

Another classic excuse every Rocket League veteran has up their sleeve is forgetting to plug in the controller. Now there are levels to this excuse. It starts with “I forgot to plug in my controller”, and then another player adds “and my monitor”. Then another adds “and my PC”. This keeps snowballing all the way until they say they don't have a good controller or hands.

2. You're A Goal Camper

The goal camping accusation is pretty similar to the ball chasing one, but the former’s a bit more famous. Defending your net is a crucial part of winning a Rocket League ranked match. There should always be someone trying to prevent the opposing team from scoring. However, people in ranked are just weird sometimes.

When you win a game using this strategy, the enemy teams call you a camper, among other things, like “play the game”, “stop goal camping”, and “learn to shoot”.

But when you lose a game after trying your best with this strategy, then your own teammates turn against you. They blame the loss on you trying to protect the net, labelling it as goal camping too. No matter what you do, you always end up hearing this excuse from someone.

1. Lag

Of course, the holy grail of all Rocket League ranked excuses is “my game was lagging, bro”. And when it's not that, it's “my ping is too high”. Lag can strike at any moment, though somehow, it always strikes when enemies can’t save or whiff a shot.

These players will execute a perfect speed flip across the arena and hit the ball accurately towards the goal. But when you execute an equally perfect counter and score a goal, lag will mysteriously strike your opponents. Their ping will be a constant 2ms, but as soon as they whiff something, they'll be typing lag in chat a bazillion times, so you don't feel good about yourself. Blaming it on lag is funny because it might be true. But then this excuse is as old as time itself, so you can never be sure.

Conclusion

You will meet two types of players in Rocket League's ranked games. Those who will go to any length to avoid accountability and those who just want to have a good laugh. In any case, both types will blame anything from the non-existent lag to the invisible sun to their RTX 5090 gaming rig. The best thing you can do is either not pay attention at all or just jump into chat and say a few jokes of your own.