It has been quite a long time since I started playing League of Legends, almost the Season 2 era. League of Legends as a game has evolved into one of the biggest MOBAs ever made. From the quick ARAM to the long games of ranked, I have had a lot of fun. However, I can definitely say that after a long time in the solo queue world and ranked play, there are some consistent types of players you can find when you press that solo queue button, and these are my top five. Now, these can differ for you, but I am pretty sure at least one of these players has been on your team.

5. The Silent Carry Lord

This is a rare one as far as players go, but when it happens, you feel that little bit hope inside come back from that last game full of feeders. This type of player, like the name suggests, doesn’t say a single word the entire game, and maybe uses a sum total of 5 pings the whole game, but when they ping they mean business. This summoner of the rift has some of the best map awareness of the game, regardless of role. Their teleports from top lane come at all the right times, their ganks are always when you need them as the jungler, in the carry roles they roam across the map with ease and force, and puts their wards in just the right places, clearing any wards from the enemy perfectly.

As far as farming goes, don’t even worry about it. The idea of perfect CS was ingrained in their mind since birth. If you come visit their lane and take CS, or if you are the support and take a creep, they don’t get mad at all. Probably because they don’t say anything, but hey, it’s all good, right? In those carry roles, you know the 1v1s are going to happen, but why worry? The enemy carry can throw out in chat “1v1 me m8” and it isn’t even a contest. Like watching a pro all in with Zed, the mechanics are perfect, always leaving room for an escape if they go in a little too deep. If they need aid from the jungler or needs a teleport in, their simple ping always gets a kill if followed. We all have dreams of these players, and when we come across one, you know you are going to have some fun.

4. The Motivational Speaker

These are a little more common than the silent carry types, but rare enough that they come in at number 4. This player is more positive than reading 17 self-help books in a day and then going to a conference on confidence. The whole game will be spent by this player avidly working the chat bar over the map, leaving the game basically up to you. To be expected, since they don’t actually play the game for the most part, when someone gets a kill on the map, a teamfight goes well, or you got that cannon minion, the ”gj”s and “well done guys” come out.

Should the justified rage come out after the chat box has a novel in it, they still stay positive, despite your team losing all over the map. On top of that, because they are staring at the chat box, the idea of map awareness goes out the door, as well as item builds, unless you tell them what to build. On top of their positivity, sometimes they like to give suggestions and advice thrown in there with their bowl of compliments, not limited to: farming advice, laning advice, marriage advice, tax time preparation advice, you get the idea. I for one am all for positivity when things get a little tough, but please, just play the game.

3. The “I Only _____, I’m a (Insert High Elo Rank) _______ Main”

These kinds of players frustrate me to no end. Now, I will admit, the way that I like to get higher in ranked is to play one or two champs over and over again because they work. I save the trials and champion/meta testing to normal games, not ranked. These players pick not only one role, but one champion, and on top of that, probably is one of the champions that are OP at the time. They tell you go check their match history and see all the wins they have, which most likely are slim, but hey, they weren’t lying about only playing one role!

Now, if you have the luck I usually have, the player in question does not get the role they want, they will threaten feeding. If they actually do not get the role they want, they actually will feed. I mean come on, they really wanted that role, and they can’t do anything else, so what else could they do but feed? Okay, let’s say they do get the role they want. More likely than not, they are going to feed anyways. There are very few occasions, however, where they were not kidding, and actually do carry the team to victory. There has to be some balance in League of Legends, right?

2. The “Recently Watched LCS and Plays New Champ” Player

This player is pretty straightforward to explain, and even more straightforward to hate. One of my best friends taught me a big lesson when I first started playing League of Legends, and it was this: If you see it played in the LCS, it doesn’t mean you can do the same thing. The people who play in the LCS are on professional teams because they ARE that good, and CAN do insane baron steals, 1v4 all ins and live, pick Karthus jungle and Thresh ADC and make it work. These players think they have those skills, and then show that they actually don’t have those skills about 10 minutes into the game, accompanied with a healthy serving of feeding and raging at you that you aren’t setting up kills for them.

This goes beyond champion picks. Sometimes, yes, the Dr. Mundo support actually does work, it does happen. However, with it working, most players of this class become overconfident and start roaming about the map, causing what was actually working to turn into a downward spiral of a game, and you are left to sit there and watch it all fall apart. Picking up the pieces of those kinds of games just make the game lose some of its luster, and I hate it when that happens.

1. The Generic Troll

Before I get into this one, I know it is a broad category, but you know as well as I do that these are everywhere. They come out of the dark depths of the ranking system late at night when you just want to get one good game in before you go to bed. You get your favorite role, your favorite champion, and you are going against a champion you know you can beat, and then it happens. The instalock-troll pick. Your heart sinks into your stomach as you watch what could have been a great game turn into your worst nightmare.

You try to inquire as to why they player in question picked what they did, just to understand the reason, and then the flame/rage begins. “You don’t even know man, it is so good, Orianna jungle is legit!” is just one example of the logic statements behind the common troll. Of course, the game starts, and they begin to do their role. It just barely seems possible that it could work, and then they give up a kill to their mid laner. And their top laner, jungler, ADC, and the support. Each kill warrants a bit more rage towards you for not peeling for them/following the pings/warding their jungle, whatever the flavor of the month is. Since they can’t take the failure of your team, they AFK and never come back, telling you that they hope you lose for “being trash”, leaving you with a 4v5 mess all over again.

Well, you can’t win every game of League of Legends, but you know that hopefully jungle Garen will be a real thing soon…right?